President Donald Trump arrived in Texas on Tuesday for a final midterm campaign blitz and immediately escalated his weeks-long posterior audit of American public life by physically hoisting wheelchair-using Governor Greg Abbott out of his chair so he could “finally get a real look” at what he later called the governor’s “crippled ass.”
The moment occurred less than four minutes into Trump’s remarks at a packed rally supporting Attorney General Ken Paxton and Abbott’s reelection.
After a brief detour about how “Jon Husted’s ass is a pile of pure muscle — I’ve examined it, never done that with a man before, off the record women yes,” Trump paused, squinted toward the VIP section, and declared: “Greg, I can’t tell from that angle. The chair’s blocking the goods. Get him up.”
According to multiple witnesses and a now-viral phone video, Trump then motioned for aides, stepped forward, and with surprising enthusiasm lifted the governor partially out of his wheelchair, turning him sideways while narrating. “See? Now we can study it. Not bad for a crippled ass.”
Abbott, gripping the chair’s armrests as his lower body was elevated, managed a strained “Thank you, Mr. President” while the crowd roared.
The examination was cut short when Trump spotted another opportunity.
“But speaking of beautiful asses that are hard to miss — Nicki’s was one hell of a beautiful ass, stand up, that’s hard to miss — we got someone even harder to miss tonight. Megan! Megan Thee Stallion! Get that badonkadonk up here so we can do a comparison.”
Megan Thee Stallion, who had not been publicly scheduled to appear, was escorted onstage in a form-fitting outfit.
Trump instructed her to “turn, turn, give the people the full 360, Texas needs this.”
He then stood between the two women (Minaj appeared via a giant video screen showing her Michigan “stand up” moment) and offered live commentary: “Nicki’s is classic, hard to miss, we love Nicki. Megan’s is more… advanced. Bigger payload. Badonkadonk technology. Husted’s is pure athlete muscle, Abbott’s is… functional. Different categories. We’re winning on every ass front.”
The crowd chanted “Ass! Ass! Ass!” for nearly a minute while Trump continued: “I’ve never studied this many asses in one speech before. Men, women, wheelchairs, rappers — I do it all. Off the record. Fake news will say I’m obsessed. I’m not. It’s for the midterms.”
Abbott was lowered back into his chair without further incident.
Megan performed a brief, high-energy dance that Trump described as “proving the point.”
Paxton, standing nearby, was asked if his own ass would be examined next and replied only, “Whatever the President needs.”
The White House later released a statement clarifying that the lifting was “a gesture of respect and scientific inquiry” and that no official comparison chart would be published before Election Day.
Trump, speaking to reporters as he boarded the plane for Lubbock, added: “Abbott’s ass is fine. Megan’s is better. Nicki’s is timeless. Husted’s is still a pile of muscle. That’s the closing argument. Vote Republican or your ass is grass.”
Rally organizers confirmed Megan’s appearance was arranged that afternoon after Trump texted aides “need bigger badonkadonk than Nicki’s for a Texas-sized rally.”